quizzical expression

I happen to have a friend who said, and I quote, "I'm going to do this quiz and post it on my blog. Then I'm going to go and destroy fate."

I thought was pretty cool, even if he didn't exactly say it like that... But I digress once again. Because I am bored, I too decided to do the quiz. And here's the result:

Person/Thing Who:-

1) Slept in your bed: If a "thing" slept in my bed I'd be worried. If anyone besides me slept there, I'd be charging money.

2) Saw you cry: I'd say my mum. No, not your mum. My mum.

3) Made you cry: Lately I've been brought to tears by this cough that gives my abs a workout. But I've cried when my favourite pet died a while ago. Saddest moment ever. Oh, and Star Wars made me cry. That was so lame, I had to weep for it.

4) You went to the movies with: My brother. Saw King Kong. Good movie. That girl has the best scream I've ever heard.

5) You went to the mall with: A friend from high school who shall remain anonymous. She's cool.

6) Sent you a txt message: The friend who also inspired me to this quiz of boredom. He said something about hibernation. Freaky mammal.


Have You Ever:-

7) Said "I love you" and meant it?: Possumly. Although I say it so many times to so many people I can't even remember what it means. I love you.

8) Gotten in a fight with your pet: I wrestle my dog all the time. He's getting fat so I own him even more. Stupid dog.

9) Danced naked: I swear she made me do it. At gunpoint...

10) Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: I once dreamt that a giant beach ball filled with balloon people came to my backyard and I used it in my ploy for world domination... Oh wait, no, that didn't happen the next day. I did however say "tsunami" out of nowhere a day before the tsunami hit that place. Freaky.

11) Had an imaginary friend: They're real damnit!

12) Do you have a crush on someone: No, but I want to "crush" Gabrielle Richens.

13) What book are you reading now: Warlock. For the third time.

14) Worst feeling in the world: Waking up after having no sleep.

15) Future son's name: Pary. Nuff said.

16) Future daughter's name: Jenna, in honour of the good friend that has disappeared.

17) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No, I sleep with live animals...

18) What's under your bed: Bodies.

19) Best sport to watch: Girls on Trampolines.

20) College plans: ... Huh?

21) Piercings/tattoos: No/No. Though I wouldn't mind a tattoo of my own design. Maybe.



EXTRA STUFF :-

1) Do you do drugs: They stop the voices in my head...

2) Who are your good friends?: They know who they are.

3) What are you most scared of: Little children.

5) Where do you want to get married: On the moon?

6)Who do you really hate: The person inside my head who stops me from doing things. Bastard. Shutup already!

7) Been in Love: ...yes, unfortunately.

8) Do you drive: I drive myself crazy! Yes I drive. Jeez.

9) Do you have a job: Nope! Do I get some kind of compensation now? Oh wait, not aboriginal...

10) Do you enjoy being around people: People make me sick. Uh, I mean... sure!

11) Are you for world peace: It is impossible.


IN THE LAST 72 HOURS, HAVE YOU:-

1) Cried: Nyet.

2) Bought something: Nope.

3) Gotten sick: I've been sick for a while now. Fkn cough.

4) Sang: Heh. Yeah.

5) Wanted to tell someone you loved them: Yes. I love you.

6) Met someone new: Nein.

7) Missed someone: Yes.

8) Hugged someone: ... Yep.

9) Kissed someone: No. Well, technically yes. But don't tell anyone.

Well, that was good for a few minutes. Now time to do something productive. "Pro-duck-tive" ... fucken ducks.

casual formalities

I woke up this mornafternoon and decided to post here. Because it's Christmas Eve apparently. Last I remember it was December Somethingth and Christmas was the usual "few weeks away." But now, it's the Eve. Of That Day. What this means is that anywhere after 12am, Santa will arrive on his sled, possibly parking it on the roof and causing structural damage. He will then realise that there isn't a chimney to be found in the entire city and will resort to burglar tactics, ensuring widespread panic and chaos for the next week as investigators attempt to uncover the man behind the large red suit. Last seen heading North with a large suspicious bag in an 1800 model, 6 RP (Reindeer power) sleigh. If I got the number of reindeers wrong, sue me. I will get the best lawyers and reverse the lawsuit.

Thinking about Christmas now is amusing. The childish excitement has long since gone and I'm left with the classic "ba-humbug" syndrome. Also, fanciful fairy tales are funny. Makes me think some homeless person on an acid trip made it up way back when. Of course he got the acid from the future... But I digress from the inevitable link that is right. Over. Here.

While you read that I'm going to go get something to eat.

I assume by the time it took me to reheat last night's dinner and grab a drink that you have finished reading. If not, you are a slow reader or I have become truly talented in reheating leftovers. Or both.

Since you're now full of juicy facts, did you ever notice that alot of the excitement around Christmas is commercial? I swear the directors and board members of companies have orgasms at every major holiday event, because it means more money they can put into a bank that collects dust or becomes part of some dodgy movie involving five intelligent sea urchins and a squid named Chuo. The plot can be stupidified and as long as the word "Christmas" is mentioned somewhere in the title, it's perfect. Just as every product known to man is apparently perfect as a Christmas gift. And they say it's the thought that counts. Bah! I know of cases where it's the after-thought.

Like the dreaded chocolate gift. You will see them in stores before you even know Christmas is a "few weeks away." They seem innocent enough, but you never overlook them. They're cunning marketing schemes. Got nothing else to buy that third cousin, six times removed? Seasonal chocolate gift pack by Cadbury. It's the after-thought that counts. Feel cheap because you didn't spend much on someone, or they got you something and you didn't even think about them? Chocolates.

My warning to you this year, if you wish to never have the title of "Lord Aftah Thort", is to step away from the chocolate display and put those gift ideas where I can see them!

Now, steering away from the day that will be, I am very upset. My chair, nay my Throne, is sitting a meter away from me, with a sad patch of glue giving me hope that it may be used once more. Yes, the chair broke. At the armrest that isn't really rested on. Go figure. If I have to put the big guy down, I will go into mourning with the Buddhist monks I befriended recently. During that time I will also develop a cunning heist plan - I have family contacts in the business of office chairs. There will be balaclavas, sharp witty dialogue and even a sassy chick in the group who makes cold comments at anyone who hits on her, but she secretly wants to bone the leader, which is me.

Or, to save me time you could go out and buy me a new chair seeing as it's my birthday 2 weeks after Christmas. Ah yes, Christmas, New Years and Pary's Birth. Surely the three greatest events in a year. All in one neat package of drinking, eating, mauling intricately-wrapped gifts and admiring girls who have "santa's little helper" outfits on.

On the end note of this rather large clump of textual extravagence, I am unemployed. But! I have a plan. More on that later. Maybe before it is put into action, maybe 6 months after. Until then, I wish you a Mary Christmass and a Happeh Knew Yere. And you can wish me a Happy Birthday in about 2 weeks when I will be "indisposed" and possibly nekkid.