wtfology

So, like, it's been awhile. You know what, how about we forget about dates and look at at the title. What does it say? Updated Never? Thank you. Now, let me continue with this update, since today is never.

If someone asked what I've been up to since the cyclone wreaked havoc on my humble city I'd most likely say "Nothing," because I couldn't be bothered explaining what I've really been up to, which is an extended and fanciful nothing. First things first; I have a job. Well, I've had a job for a few months, but you didn't know that. It's been a long time since I worked, and to be perfectly honest, I'm lovin' it (fuck off McDonald's, it's not your trademark!). I guess that happens though. You take a break from something you don't really want to do, then you enjoy it more once you start again. That is, until 6 months later when you hate every day again. Imagine going back to school. I'd be way too cool for that now, with all my worldly experience and suave. Even the teachers would swoon.

Secondly, I haven't touched a drop of alcohol all year. I'm now the mascot for Alcoholic's Anonymous. Turns out, you don't need to lose brain cells to enjoy yourself. Who would have thought? Probably not those losing brain cells... it's a vicious cycle, you see. Vicious like something with sharp teeth and a bad temper.

Thirdly, nothing.

Fourthly, I am still addicted to tea. In fact, it's worse now. I still refuse to change my accent though, so don't ye be worryin' yaself, lass.

Fifthly, I have come to realise I want to have sex with alot of things, mostly inanimate. For example, I want to have sex with eyedrops when they relieve my dry eyes. I also want to have sex with Led Zeppelin's song, Kashmir because it's so sexable.

Sixithly, I have come to realise, with the help of someone else, that I may be a little obsessive compulsive. See, I do little things that aren't necessary. I might wipe a bench 50 times, then keep wiping it every 5 minutes because it has somehow become dirty. Excuse me while I tidy the already tidy desk and straighten items in the fridge for no reason. Patterns are fun and make mind happy!

But enough about me, lets talk about the little girl in some 3rd world country who is waiting for your call to sponsor her. For just $365 a year, you can make no difference to her chances of living past 20!

Holy shit, Pirates of the Caribbean sequel thing came out yestertoday. Naturally, I'm going to go and watch it at the earliest convenience. I yearn to see Johny Depp again, that stud. I'd have sex with him. He's inanimate, right? ...

Anyhoo, seeing as it IS 3:14am (pi time?!) and I am rambling, I should depart and head off to the bedroom for some sleep. I'd hit it.

- Pary