gossiolitics

Politics and celebrity gossip. Celebrity gossip and politics. The two subjects I love to make fun of, or mocketh in conversations that relateth to it.

As I drove around today (and every day leading up to tomorrow, the election) and noticed the abundance of candidate posters - spam - I came to realise that celebrity gossip is a bit too much like high school gossip: Somebody is pregnant; somebody else is in love with somebody's ex; someone is on drugs (again); somebody might be pregnant with somebody who is on drugs; somebody is in a scandal with sex and/or drugs; divorce this, marriage that - well, here it would simply be girlfriend/boyfriend in a high school society I suppose.

This disturbs me. People actually follow this kind of news religiously as if it's not weird. Imagine the same kind of observations and interest in, say, your neighbor's lives. It's not much different, save for the high school intelligence of these celebrities running around marrying and divorcing everyone from the opposite sex - everyone, that is, who is also a celebrity - and getting pregnant or not being able to or having an affair or just... doing normal flawed human things. To be fair though, your neighbor's lives aren't as messed-up, unless they're a celebrity, so there's no gross fascination or reassurance that you're doing well by watching them in headlines.

"John Doe on why he divorced Mary!"
"Thomas Jones caught smoking behind his shed! Why he did it: 'I, um, smoke?'"
"Kate and Tom at it again; Scientology SCAM"
"Top 10 'baby bump' spotters; Exclusive - these people are amazingly observant (and assuming)!"

It's a little weird and it reminds me of high school. You even have the geeks and the popular people. And the drugs. And those couples that are as confused about their relationships as you would be solving a rubix cube inside a mirror-box.

It will never die. Not even when the celebrities die - that's big news. But then, maybe it's not so bad watching these actors and actresses in their little high school play; like a car wreck: you can't look away because it's just... there.

Speaking of cars, wrecks and being... there, politicians need to relax a little on the advertising campaigns. It's a little much, especially on the side of roads. And those billboards that are towed around? Seriously guys (girls too, vaguely) - too much. It's a bit like browsing the internet with popups all over the place except you can't click them away.

Some are worse than others. Or rather, one is worse than the rest: Charlie McOverkillop. Four posters every few hundred meters is a bit intense, a bit hard to digest. She can stop traffic with that face. That's not a compliment; it just hits you four times in the time it takes your eyes to flicker over them. BAM! Oh god not her!

It's not subtle; it's shock and awe. Maybe if she gets in they go away - what if they don't? What if she's like a dictatoresque politician and starts demanding the construction of statues of herself - nay, four of them - every few hundred meters?

Let's not even think about.

Vote 1: The Dance Party - we know what you really want and even if we don't you can't say no to the rhythm (and celebrity-approved drugs).

- G ζ.

authorisedbyGregPage2007
spokenbyyourcomputerscreen
youneedtoreedthisreallyfastforthesamesubtleeffect

these things we call

I've made more posts this year than the last and once again I skipped October. There still hasn't been a post in that month since 2004. That's three years for those who can count. Is that special? Not really! But this year October was to be different. I was to journey many miles for that thing we call whatever we wish.

But it wasn't so, and though it is a little disappointing, I am not bitter nor regretful because I know now that I am indeed capable of putting in the effort where and when it is needed and that there's no conspiring or spiteful concept of fate knocking over houses of cards.

I grew and learned a lot, and I enjoyed every step, every up and down and every soaring height. It was truly a peak in my life - and it's not over, oh no, just suspended you could say, for both our sakes.

I am probably not making sense to many people bar one (besides me), but that's okay. These words must be read and I have been told - nay, commanded! - by the same person to write here. I am a slave. SAVE ME.

I kid!

I have been slack in writing, I admit. My story hasn't died (the one I was working on? Or the one after?) and I have many more in my head, but I have another project on the horizon that is taking priority because otherwise I'll end up broke. Although come to think of it, Rowling was broke and started Harry Potter...

What the hell.

Alright, I'll spill some beans on these imaginary real stories. FINE. Stop begging!

The main story at this time has no title, but is about a guy called Johnny who... well, picture a roller coaster where there's a large dip and then a big rise. Before that is a tame straight. That's his life in a nutshell. Or rather, a cart.

Beyond that you'll have to keep picturing a roller coaster. I have successfully told you nothing about the story but revealed the main character's name! I am good like that, you see.

So what's my other project that's SO important I have to stop hurting brains with my writing? Well, I am to start a driving school. Not sure if it has been mentioned before, but it's the truth. This is the second time I'm decided on it, but times have changed. I am not alone now and I have a bit more motivation - I'm also armed with information, which can be dangerous.

I may appear a clown, but beneath the large shoes and baggy suit I am all genius, baby. Maybe.

That's it for now, I think. I'll do my best to update more and maybe show the big project as it comes along!

- G

Some nights I ask of a star:
"Will you shine forever?"
"Nay," they all say, "We are but mortal
Like any other."
And I know then what eternity is:
The sum of all time
But I always forget this,
So I'll keep asking forever