when the boat's a-rockin' ...

Check this out - two posts within a month. Am I on fire or what? I hope "or what"; not particularly fond of being on fire, unless of course I want to play in the rain. People don't wonder why a grown male is rolling in the mud when he is on fire. No, they panic, scream, run over and wonder how he got on fire and why he is having fun. Disclaimer: Don't do it naked or at home.

Speaking of rain, I am waiting patiently for my future to get started. That future, or at least part of it, is a Dive Master traineeship. Funny that it is has the word "ship" in there somewhere, considering I spend 11 hours or so out on a boat in questionable weather. I survived the 4-day trial and consider myself right to continue on, despite being a veritable tugboat to Asian and Indian tourists who can't quite swim, particularly in 30-knot winds. Surprisingly, I didn't drown. I wonder if they'd have trusted me if I said:
"Hey, just so you know, this is my 3rd day out here and my first time in the reef, swimming under these conditions. Ever. Plus, I am pretty unfit. Lets see some fish!"

Probably not. Nevertheless, I did a good job of being a human ferry. Enjoyed it too, even if I did take in a fair bit of sea water thanks to the waves that just had to go over the snorkel again and again. My lips were like soggy salt and vinegar chips. Would have been interesting to set up a kissing booth for the hot female tourists in bikinis - "taste the sea!"

What would ensue is of course rated R, featuring bad innuendo with salt, mouths, swimming, fish, snorkels, goggles, boats, ocean, motion and waves.

Wait, did I say I enjoyed something to do with employment? I did! This bodes well land lovers. The pay during the 90-day course isn't anything special, but it's not an exceedingly difficult thing you're actually being paid for; boat work, swimming, bikini-clad hotties, all that jazz. I consider it like getting money for studying. Yes, money for studying - wouldn't that be a great thing?!

Of course, at the end of the day... or 3-months, you end up with a very good opportunity to do quite a bit. It's like reaching the point of a tree where all the branches, uh, branch off from - you can take any route you want to become a leaf and eventually fall down in autumn to become compost for the rest of the forest. Disregard the leaf bit. Or leaves. Whatever.

Anyway, how cool is it to have Master in your title?! Greg Page, Dive Master. Of course, nobody has to know Dive Master is just an entry-level qualification. Like a ticket to get on board a plane; sure you're going somewhere, but you best buckle up sonny, because you aren't in Municity yet!

So tomorrow I make a phone call and get ready for a new experience! Good times ahead, unless of course, for some reason, I get the boot and aren't allowed in. Can't see that happening. I washed dishes, damnit. I washed them and enjoyed it! Mostly because it's so much more fun when the sink isn't quite stationary. In fact, anything you do on a moving boat in rough seas is so much more fun. It's like been drunk. On that note, I theorise that if you were actually drunk on a boat you would be able to cancel the motion out and be completely stable. You could go to the toilet, with both you and the boat moving, in perfect opposing harmony, and viola, you're shooting straighter than an arrow that somehow defies the laws of physics and doesn't move in a parabola.

Jack Sparrow is onto something with his crazy love for rum.

Where was I? Oh yeah. If I don't get in, somehow, I'll have to scowl, take my papers in a somewhat aggressive fashion and say, "Well then. So long and thanks for all the fish, tourists and free boat trips!"

Ha!

- Pary ζ.