the beast without

I've been walking the dog recently. "The dog" being Snaps - a name given to him from his puppy-days of snapping at feet. He's not a small dog and has already broken one collar in a mad fit to sniff trees and then urinate on them. Trees and poles actually. Okay, anything that stands up straight.

When he broke that collar he almost suicided into a car, which I believe explains his current tendency to want to chase them (or doesn't). He may just be scared and lashes out to hide his phobia of cars. But I digress: He broke his collar and ran around madly sniffing and urinating like some wild dog. If he was a wild dog, then I was his mother-dog who snuck up on him and called him out on bad behavior. Pro-tip: Scruff of the neck reminds them of being an infant and they become better behaved in an instant (it doesn't hurt or cause fear, it just brings them down a few notches).

So there I was with a large, on-edge dog with no collar. Fixing it would work since it was in pieces. Luckily I was sporting some facial hair that day and the brilliant idea of tying the leash itself around his neck did the trick. I don't imagine it was comfortable in any way, but that's the price you pay for breaking collars, buddy-o.

Now he wears a body harness that always make me laugh when I put it on. I don't really know what's funny; I guess it's a built-in amusement thing. Reminds me of those babies walking in a harness and a leash. I don't even know why that makes me want to laugh.
Walking is serious business.

I like to pretend I'm the Dog Whisperer when I take these walks around the 'hood (though I doubt he'd be super-impressed). Nevertheless it's good inspiration to have a calm, non-psychotic dog that doesn't madly sniff and urinate. Progress is a beautiful thing. If I had it written down it would be something like this:

Walk 1: Scary. Dog is crazy... what's so interesting about the grass? And what's with this street corner that makes him zig-zag? My god this leash hurts when he goes all over the place.

Walk 2: Okay, Dog Whisperer time. The grass has his attention, snap (ha!) him out of it. There we go. Now lead. Lead. This is better. Corner still causes mad sniffing. Other dogs send him off, have to work on that.

Walk 3: Collar broke. That was fun.

Walk 4: Harness is excellent. Grass is less fascinating. Street corner still strangely attractive. Trees and poles too. Other dogs still trigger reactions. Cars as well...

Walk 5: Grass mostly ignored. Stree corner still attractive. Trees and poles... oh god, loose dog. It's tiny! Okay, got him calm and submissive. Calm and submissive. Not bad, could be better. Could be worse.

Walk 6: Street corner less desirable, trees and poles not as interesting. Dogs in their yards still a bit of a trigger. Tendency to chase cars still there.

Walk 7: Dogs are the main focus. And cars.

Walk 8: Dogs and cars.

Walk 9: Hallelujah! Less tendencies to chase cars, sniffing almost completely non-existent. Other dogs only a small problem. New method found to snap (pwow!) him out of any potential red zone behavior.

I broke a pair of thongs getting him to jog with me. Turns out that road don't do nice things to cheap thongs. Lesson learned, I'll jog in the amazing technology of shoes... or joggers.

Oh yeah and I'd like to officially welcome Milo days back.

- G ζ.

Woof, woof!
Meow, meow!
And we all howl