road signs

There's something about my car. It's not a particularly interesting or impressive car, nor is it expensive. It's a Mazda 121 "Stripes" edition. The stripes are for speed, even if they aren't very noticeable... anyway, my car has the unique ability to predict coming natural disasters.

I am deadly cereal about this. If you check back to a month ago last year you will notice the story of Cyclone Larry (mending fences is the title). In that entry is a mentioning of my car breaking down at a Stop sign. On the same day a cyclone was discovered off the coast. At the time I figured it was a standard chain of unfortunate events.

On Saturday I was proven wrong.

On Saturday, while taking my brother to his interview, I was met with another chain of events. This time I saw someone at the traffic lights at random - someone I haven't seen for a while. It was a cool coincidence and we drove by each other, both turning in our respective right direction. Thirty minutes later in a car park my car wouldn't start.

I was determined that it was a temporary thing and so I gave it a few minutes to fix itself, or get over whatever rebellious urges it felt. It only took ten minutes before the beautiful sound of the engine working filled my ears. Crisis averted, I began the drive home.

And then I was almost rear-ended by a ute at a green light. Go figure.

By now I was becoming paranoid; wondering what else would almost - or would - go wrong. I joked to my brother about how when my car broke down last time we were witness to the worst cyclone in years - maybe another one was coming? What's really funny is how he checked when we got home; safely, believe it or not.

Then on Monday morning there was an earthquake in the Solomon Islands and the resulting tsunami almost hit Cairns. Almost, just like everything else almost happened.

I would have slept through it too, if my mum didn't burst into the room and fill my half-asleep brain with indigestible information. It's hard to comprehend what "tsunami" means when you can't decide whether you are still dreaming or not.

So, my car can predict natural disasters. When it breaks down, shit goes awry. Actually, it's more complicated than that. There has to be some kind of random incident/accident and the car has to fail in the same journey. I think the time between the two events gives a clue to how long until a natural disaster arrives. Using this information I have deciphered the hidden message in both cases.

The cyclone -
Car hits cockatoo and breaks down later: You will be hit by a natural disaster in a few days, but someone else will suffer a lot more than you.

The tsunami -
Car breaks down temporarily and is almost rear-ended not long after: There is a natural disaster about to happen close by, but you won't be hit by it, although there will be a shake-up for others more effected.

I hope I'm not involved in any accidents that cause my car to break down.

In other news, I am tired of the Cairns Post and its tiresome news articles. A tsunami almost hit! Whoa! That's definitely worth three days of front page material! Oh, our warning system isn't good enough? Well, maybe that's because we don't get tsunamis very often. If ever. That's like saying our tornado warning system isn't good enough. Here's an idea: I'll warn you of any impending doom with my psychic car.

Worse than that was the week-long coverage of the anniversary of cyclone Larry. Newsflash: It didn't hit Cairns. It hit Innisfail. A year ago. Nobody gives a shit except them. The longest I've stayed in Innisfail was thanks to a bus I was traveling on breaking down on the way to Townsville. The highlight was winking at some giggling school girls who passed by. Want to know why it was so devastating? Innisfail is as modern as Darwin was in the '70s when Tracy hit.

I am done.

- G ζ.

If you trust in yourself enough now
And believe in your dreams someway somehow
And you follow your star to the right place
You will still get beaten by those who learned
And worked hard and weren't as lazy as you